I applaud the efforts of the parents of baby Storm, who have chosen to try and raise a nongendered child. I love that their older boys wear what they like (including pigtails and sparkly dresses), and that they want to take this one notch more, and relieve their new child the judgement of the narrow-minded should Storm follow suit.
Yes, this will take getting used to by their neighbours and community, but every generation deals with something new in their community – new accents, new skin colors, new kinds of families. Learning to adjust is possible, and Storm’s neighbours will, if they can get around their own issues with gendering.
My girls have tool benches, and my son wears dresses sometimes. Yes, he just got a very boy-like haircut, but only because he *wanted* it, and not for gendered reasons, but because he was tired of it getting in his eyes, and stuck under my arm when he nursed at night. Heck, many of the boys he knows have VERY long hair, including his father, and I don’t have a hair on my head over three inches long.
A good friend of mine once told me that genitals are just plumbing, and I loved that. A study (which I’m not digging up right now, sorry) showed that two kinds of heterosexual couples work best: those where each partner has very strict gender roles, and those where both partners have very flexible, and even androgynous gender roles. My marriage is definitely the latter, and since I many of the ‘traditional’ gender roles seem to often come with paradigms that I find abhorrent, I’d be delighted to have my children steer closer to the androgynous line.
Homosexuality and being transgender, should a child determine, eventually, that they are either, are NOT the same thing. Our culture has, over just the last generation or two, come to accept that women can wear pants, work outside the home, and even be in positions of authority. We are beginning to accept that the definition of ‘active father’ can (and should) mean more than bringing home a paycheck and throwing around a baseball on weekends. We are starting, as a culture, to understand that family can be defined in many ways. Biology is NOT destiny, folks, and, should homosexuality be a negative in your mind, understand that many transgendered people still choose partners the opposite of their biological sex. (So yes, they might LOOK gay, but aren’t, unless they choose to define themselves as such.)
Bend these lines, folks – our children will be who and what they want and need to be, and giving them the freedom to explore and develop themselves in a welcoming environment is FAR less odious than their repressing it lifelong, only to find it on a therapist’s lounge at age forty, after families and careers have been shattered by their inability to understand who they are.
So send Storm blue AND pink. And green, and orange and purple, too. Send all the colors of the rainbow, and toys and games of equal diversity. Introduce this lovely child to whatever YOU love, and maybe Storm will sense your excitement and love it too. Bounce back and forth between pronouns and don’t get hung up on Storm’s hair.
Life is way too short, and the beautiful possibilities are endless.